The definition of Victim
The definition of Victim: ‘a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action‘.
The psychological definition: ‘a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment’.
Our culture can’t define a real problem because most people allow small matters to overtake their life’s. Let me introduce something called first world problems. That’s right, a generation built on losing their shit over slow internet, low phone battery, television remote not working correctly, not being able to find shopping items, needing to replace the light bulb or worse, getting a bad haircut.
But the real problem lies in having a victim narrative play like a movie until the day you die. Everyone goes through issues and occasionally a crisis. You may go through a divorce, your business might go bankrupt, you might get redundant, or your house is flooded from a burst pipe. These are hardships we face throughout our lives and can often lead to emotional scars. But if we don’t take the necessary action to either seek help or have the awareness to have a better perspective, it leads to that same narrative played throughout our lives. This is where people can reminisce over hardships in the past. This can cause emotional outbursts and make you feel, that’s right, you guessed it, Victimhood. There is only one cure by taking responsibility.
Responsibility is about taking back ownership of your life. The courage to change by telling yourself that you don’t want to feel like shit anymore will allow you to seek a better alternative. Maybe try again, learn from the past, try something a little different, change your attitude, and look from a different angle. Socrates wrote famously, ‘I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing’. This basically means that you can never really know everything because there is always something more to learn. Life is pretty boring, If we know everything, so it’s even better when you can develop insight through experience to know what works for you and, more importantly, what doesn’t work for you.
Real Victims
This blog isn’t some wishy-washy self-help article that shows that the magic of life has no victims. No, we live in the real world, and a lot of it is messed up. Some real victims have their free will taken away. For example, over 6 million innocent Jews were killed during the second world war by German Nazi’s in concentration camps. Today, people are victims of modern slavery, sex trafficking, child abuse, youngsters forced into gangs, cybercrime, domestic abuse, fraud, rape, sexual assault, robbery, stalking and violent crime. These are few real victims that have the choice taken away from them.
Many people walk around society with deep psychological wounds, and everyone has some type of emotional scars. But it’s more about what you do to get yourself in a better place and mindset. There are only two options: you take responsibility for changing your life for the better, or you remain the same and remain a victim. Albert Einstein came with a Goliath of a quote, ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’. Just maybe you might want to do something a little different.
Story Time
I once worked with a woman; I probably won’t mention her name for privacy reasons, so we’ll call her Susan.
Susan had a good stable job and was known as the breadwinner in her family. She got married into a family that can only be portrayed as a nightmare, mainly how she talked about her mother-in-law. She often described her husband as mummy’s boy and sadly had a loveless relationship.
Susan made many excuses for why the relationship didn’t work, and over the years, this weighed her down into feeling like a victim. She often loved feeling piety from others and felt that everything would work out because she was a big believer in fate. A decade later, and nothing has changed, Susan still plays the same narrative. Instead of taking the responsibility to ditch the guy and get back her independence. Susan has settled in her relationship because it feels safer to stay where she is now rather than have the courage to change for something better.
Victimhood
The cards that we are dealt with aren’t always what we choose, but what matters is how we play them. If you are born with a health condition, that’s not your fault but how you conduct your life moving forward is your responsibility.
Being accountable will never make you fall into the trap of self-pity, and you won’t settle for the mediocre. Instead, the aim will be towards meaning, joy and peace. This will lead to no regrets because you have a good perspective. Victimhood is a deadly psychological virus
Which can be a safe place to remain. Be responsible, take control of your life.
Peace out.