This blog is like marmite; some will love it, and others will hate it. But stay with me, and I will help you be on the side of ‘lovin it’. You’ve probably heard the famous proverb the calm before the storm, basically the dull moment before shit is about to go down. And we all know someone that always remain positive all the time, believing that the cup is always half full and that lemons can be turned into lemonade. This develops an annoyance when these individuals don’t understand what we’re going through, especially when they keep saying that everything is OK, but it isn’t.
Let’s dive in further; it can be difficult when someone tries to push the problem under the rug and distract you from your problems. Having a night of hardcore partying isn’t going to solve your divorce issue, or going out for a drinking session doesn’t help the fact that you lost your job. Distraction doesn’t solve problems, nor does someone constantly tell you that everything is OK, especially when your mental health concerns affect your wellbeing. A few concerns include higher anxiety, stress, doubt, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, self-harm, sleep problems, suicidal feelings, Trauma.
It’s more important to ride out the storm, meaning to be aware of the problem by either getting help such as therapy or trusting in a close person in your life. Get to the root and understand what is causing the pain. It’s only when we go through something difficult only then can we appreciate something more.
How can we Help?
Therefore, it’s essential to support that person but not distract them with temporary highs; instead, give that person unconditional love and support of just being present, listening with compassion and help them ride out the storm. This will build your relationships; only through times of need and challenging times can we acknowledge who was there for us. This means a great deal more, rather than the person who is always there during good times. Through adversity, we grow the most, change perspective and more importantly, come out of our comfort zone.
In today’s age, we get weird if we haven’t had a good night’s sleep, have an argument with our spouse, or our boss makes us angry, and lose it big time if our colleagues are lazy. It’s nothing compared to the crisis in history, e.g., world war, the holocaust, the black death are few to name. For most people, we are triggered by insecurity, doubt, fear, rejection, anger. These are natural parts of being human; they are more about handling our emotions by responding better and managing them well. Instead, the positive age wants us to be happy all the time, which is quite unrealistic.
It happens in all good things
You may become irritated by your partner; you may not feel like running today because you are emotionally down; you are at work but more tired than usual and slightly bored. These are normal parts of life, and it’s better to get used to it rather than keep being a Rollo coaster high all the time. The difference is when you hate that particular subject; then we need change.
During hard times it’s important to be kind to yourself by bringing in a specific self-care ritual that helps you recover. If you ever watched Shawshank Redemption, then you’ll know there is a quote that sums up this entire blog. The man who crawled through 500 yards of shit and came out clean the other end.