The rules of Life, by Richard Templar, states to keep problems under your hat. This basically means that we don’t tell people all our problems in a working environment, only people we trust in our private life, including family, friends, or even your therapists.
However, a few people make the mistake of sharing their issues with work colleagues because they feel like they can trust others in the office, but end up losing the best professional commodity, respect.
I mentioned earlier in a blog about beliefs systems and the importance to agree to disagree with others. This is a lifelong skill and served me well; some people have such strong views about certain subject matters that it’s not worth a discussion/argument. It’s often a case of choosing your battles carefully; try to think a couple of steps ahead to prevent massive confrontation. If you feel a strong need to express your opinion about something that goes against all morals and ethics, then say something in a diplomatic logic without getting too personal. Remain aware of sensitive topics: religions, politics, sexual orientation, gender identity. Respect others viewpoints and move on; this keeps the respect within the working environment. The purpose of working is to do your job and not talk frivolously about how your partner doesn’t give you attention. If you find yourself in this place, it means that you’re not productive enough at work.
The second factor, healthy respect and good relationships, are built around the idea of occasionally talking about each interest. This is good territory because you direct conversation on interests and hobbies. Try to identify 2-3 interests. This will help you connect those values, and you will discover that topics drift less on personal/private Life. Your goals are to create a good working environment, not to be counsellors for each other.
The Negative One
There are always one or two negative individuals in every office, in every organisation, private, charity or public sector. The party poopers of the working environment, those who love to gossip, moan about how good they have it, bitch about other staff, hate coming into work, waste time with cigarette breaks, and spend most of the time thinking about lunch and going home. Welcome the toxic colleague, and we have all had our fair share.
These people will never change, so don’t try to change them; these leeches will remain until they retire and feed on everyone’s energy until they get their pension. Research in the self-help world states that there are three main ways to deal with these types of individuals 1) stay well away from them, 2) outshine them by do brilliant work 3) move on as life is too precious.
Also, never allow yourself to be sucked into their bullsh*t, because they will use that against you. Instead, keep quiet and make the conversation short.
Professional working relationships consist of respect more than likability. Keep Private/Personal Life at home. The primary purpose of a job is to work and support other colleagues to get the job done.