I had a co-worker who frazzled my mind with this one-liner that ‘everything happens for a reason’. The context started on the idea that the perfect job comes to you, not the other way round. Only 5 minutes later, I had a massive debate which somehow made the day go faster. My co-worker gave me a lecture on manifestation whilst I tried to outline the psychological advantages of taking Action. In conclusion, I had my opinion, and she had hers, so we agreed to disagree.
During my twenties, I learned quickly that some debates are not worthwhile. Some people hold their beliefs too dearly.
People are conditioned with beliefs from the moment they are born, and later develop new beliefs over time. Consequently, it becomes challenging to let go of certain viewpoints because of the exertion over time.
We strive towards the idea of being certain by having confidence in our belief system. But when our ideology is flawed, it’s crisis time. The profound thinker Frederick Nietzsche had the Nihilistic view that all beliefs are ultimately made up. It’s known to be healthier in having a belief system with good morals and ethics combined with uncertainty. This gives room for being open to lifelong learning and flexibility in our beliefs.
So that with perspective, we can look back over the years and see our evolution. You might even laugh at yourself for even previously thinking in a certain way; that’s good because now you’re maturing to be a better individual. Like Socrates wrote, ‘One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing’. Life is an ongoing learning experience, as you can never know enough.
The No No’s
There are some opinions and views that probably should be left untouched by certain individuals.
Religion – A couple of years ago, I had this weird fascination of watching YouTube videos on debates where some religious advocates tried to covert others to follow their belief system.
They tried to convince others that their religion is the super religion.
When it comes to religion, a lot of people invest their entire life into that belief system. They value the ideology too highly. Many in their inner circle also have the same ideology. It’s hard to let go.
Political – Many people form their characteristics around political parties, this combined with social status, career, family, and associates, create an identity. Trying to convince someone who strongly follows the conservative party for 50+ years isn’t going to change overnight, by a having an epiphany to join the labour party.
It seems that brands are the modern-day religions as people will show so much loyalty to a particular brand. From Apple product junkies, wearing the latest Nikey, splashing out on fashion brands, only drinking Coca-cola and dining in McDonald’s. Again, it purposely developed to fit an identity. This type of branding has evolved into people joining bizarre conspiracy groups and societies around the world. For example, the flat earth society. If there is a following, it can eventually form a belief system.
It is essential that everyone discovers their own mistakes and finds the best solution that works for them. Learn from mistakes and don’t repeat them. Perception is the driving force to overcome any challenges by having the awareness to change.
Happiness is defined differently for everyone based on their belief system. For example, a monk can be happily content being celibate. whilst others would have the firm belief that happiness comes from having their own children and spouse. We must respect everyone’s beliefs and learn that there isn’t one route towards happiness.
Conclude
One of my life coaches once taught me a valuable piece of advice. She said that you can’t change anyone unless they want to change themselves. It’s an important rule of thumb, and we can share experiences and knowledge, but ultimately, we form our judgements by deciding what works best for us. The process of choosing and editing beliefs is a lifelong practice. Being certain can lead to a lack of better understanding, as it shuts us down from learning, discovering, and seeing things from different perspectives. Focus on shaping your own beliefs whilst giving respect to others to express their views. You can agree to disagree and still form good relationships without feeling the need to be right all the time.