Often, we can feel like we are working hard towards something that we want to acquire. Going on the path towards making our dreams come true when we are struck with an unexpected bombshell. We find that someone that we know has already attained what we want. For example, someone has already gotten a first honours degree, got that prolific career, gotten married, had their first child, brought a dream car, or attained 1 million YouTube subscribers. The list goes on.
If I could change your perspective for just a minute, I would tell you that you are witnessing a snippet of their life. You’re seeing the final product, a lot like how we view thousands of social feeds per day, we see pictures of happy faces, accelerated with joy and excitement.
They, too, had to go through the process of uncertainty, struggle, and adversity to attain the common goal. Unless the individual gets it on a plate, but then the goal is never really appreciated because it came too easy. As the Goldilocks rule states, going for aspirations shouldn’t be too easy nor too challenging to the point of impossibility, it should be just right.
The Bottomline is that anything worthwhile takes a level of perseverance. If everything were too easy, then everyone would be doing it.
It’s a natural part of the human experience to compare ourselves to other people. It can’t be switched off, so pay close attention to what you consider an appropriate comparison. There will always be someone out in the world smarter, prettier, richer, happier, sexier, and so on. So, there is no point in measuring your success to others. Instead of looking for success externally, start to look internally to recognise what matters.
Let’s look further into metrics to success. I was in a coffee shop one morning, and I couldn’t help but overhear this arrogant young man brag about his dating life. Proudly, telling his friends about all the young women he slept with, the fact that they all looked like supermodels, rated them on a 10/10 scale. Ironically, He was miserable and unhappy because he made himself feel better by expressing his success in dating by logic measurement rather than emotional love.
I quickly learned that this method of measuring success applies in other areas of our lives. From achieving grades, how much money we make, the number of cars we own, to the number of countries we have visited. The metric to success doesn’t make us happy, only the meaning make us happy. Values like love, respect, integrity, loyalty, trust can’t be measured by a number. These are ongoing meaningful entities that can only be felt emotionally.
Stay in your lane and focus on inspiring, supporting and motivating the people around your inner circle. Make the target focused on meaning rather than the extrinsic value because money, fame, promotion, and success come as a by-product. Be careful of your definition of happiness because it will steer both actions and beliefs. As the famous proverb goes, be careful what you wish for it might come true.