Marcus Aurelius, during his reign, was the most powerful man in the world, beloved emperor, and successful philosopher. He was left on his death bed, vulnerable with his family around him and ready to take on death. A vulnerable Alexander the great last dying request was to have his body carried by physicians to show people that we will all die one day, and no doctor can cure death. The great Julius Caesar conquered Gaul and became a permanent dictator, and unexpectedly became assassinated by conspirators. The most remarkable people in history fell victim to vulnerability during their lives, despite how invincible others perceived them.
The definition of vulnerability is to feel exposed, attacked or harmed either emotionally or physically. However, if we use vulnerability correctly with honesty, we can build our relationships with other people and, dare I say it, become likeable. It can make us more attractive to others because we are opening ourselves up.
We live in a society around the idea of not talking about our feelings as it carries the stigma of looking weak. This is mainly associated with men carrying the stereotype of being a macho man or, worse, the alpha male. Being young, rich, and handsome carries a lot of weight. This high expectation has skyrocketed mental health concerns in men, as more have become depressed, suicidal, and stressed due to being less vulnerable and seeking help.
Emotionally stable people seek help and talk about their feelings with people whom they trust. They are open and tend to feel a lot more balanced, this realigns them back to their vision because of the newfound perspective. Managing our emotions better by questioning them makes us feel light instead of bottling everything up and then exploding on someone. Shits about to go down.
The Negative effect
It’s essential that vulnerability is genuine and not used to manipulate other people. To be blunt, don’t use people to get what you want. Otherwise, you come across as desperate.
- The Con artist: Someone that will feed on your emotions and then take the opportunity to lure you into their scheme. They will make up a bullshit story of how their marriage ended, lost their house and possessions, and then found a business that changed their life. It made them millions, and you should be part of it too.
- Word Vomit: inspired by the film mean girls, the point of which someone is opening up a lot, they become needy and pathetic. This shows neediness and for the other person can become quite overwhelming. For example, you go on a first date with a girl, and she openly talks about her ex-boyfriend problems, family problems, health problems, work problems and how hard she finds trusting people. Welcome word vomit.
Your Homework
Often, we need to seek professional therapy such as counselling or CBT to try and work through specific concerns that are painful through reflection. There can be deep-rooted emotional issues originating from past relationships, parents, traumas, or neglect. It’s essential to gain awareness through a perspective that can open a wound that can be painful. Managing our emotions is necessary, especially when we are healing. Otherwise, we will remain angry and frustrated with the world and other people because this massive weight is on our shoulders.
Be vulnerable with the right people. Many people trust the wrong people like co-workers, bosses, management and even the stranger in the street. Being too open will negatively change their perception and cloud their judgement. You will lose respect because nobody wants to hear your problems; reserve that for the people you trust, such as spouse, friend, family member, son, or daughter. The key is to be open and honest but come to an end solution. A lot of people talk about their problems but never come to a solution. They go round and round in circles discussing the same thing, which can become quite soul-draining for the recipient.
Being vulnerable is a lifelong practice to be accountable for your emotions. To express your feelings with the people you trust and love, or by seeking professional therapy. It shouldn’t be something to gain but be sincere.