I find that specific goals in life aren’t so straightforward as they require a new strategy, changing beliefs to a new way of thinking, seeking professional advice and sometimes just starting all over.
I have watched others’ paths and tried to follow the same course of action, but I quickly lost the drive to continue. I have learned that I must figure things out for myself by making mistakes and identifying what works best for me.
What’s clear is that victimhood serves no one well, and, in most cases, it’s about assessing what does and doesn’t work on a individual basis.
I have read well into deep psychology that we should avoid our feelings and do what’s right; this is true to a certain extent. But if you feel like some goals will cause more hardship than joy, then it’s time to look at something else, especially when it comes to essential decisions, e.g. career and relationships.
One power rule
Over the years, I have found something quite profound in the idea of letting go, especially the ego, ahh that rhymes. I love it
I think it’s firstly questioning those beliefs by asking yourself what if I’m wrong? How could I better approach this situation?
Asking these types of questions to yourself with honesty helps you learn by self-reflection. As a result we better manage our emotional state and become more resilient. It’s more about being firm but kind to yourself.
For most of my adult life, I struggled with asking for help, especially from people that give good/professional advice. The problems you face today all have solutions, as many others have been in the same place as you and found ways to fill in the gaps.
The goals we create can be seen as an adventure, as there will be a lot of learning, new courses of action and maybe a few adjustments along the way. But perhaps that’s where the fun lies, in the unknown.
Preparation + Opportunity = Confidence
Seneca wrote, ‘when preparation meets opportunity creates success’. I think that he was definitely on the money. To expand his point further, I believe that this also gives us confidence. Not only to show up and present ourselves well, but it will be projected in our demeanour and body language.
It sort of makes sense if you are passionate and in love with something, then you will ooze out great vibes. Naturally, you’ll have done the preparation, the hard work will be done, and the by-product is confidence. All because you were emotionally stimulated towards that direction.
I can’t say that success is guaranteed because there are external forces outside our control. But as long as we say that we did our best, that’s all that counts in the end. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t but what matters is the fact that you did your best each time. You prepared well; you worked hard; you had confidence; you have love and passion for the thing you want.
Success is more about timing. Keep practising!